Sunday, October 17, 2004

2005...A Year of Surprises

In the spirit of John Kerry's claim that President Bush has a January Surprise planned to completely privatize Social Security, I thought it might be fun to come up with a "surprise" plan for each month of next year.

January Surprise- privatize Social Security

February Surprise - send Kim Jeong Il a mushy Valentine

March Surprise - wear a "Kiss me I'm Irish" button on St. Patrick's Day even though everyone knows he's German (wait...that's the other guy).

April Surprise - require the entire senate to visit NASA and dress in bunny suits

May Surprise - rename Mothers' Day the Mother of all Days

June Surprise - replace White House Rose Garden with baseball diamond because he continues to hear "if you build it, they will come"

July Surprise - repair crack in Liberty Bell

August Surprise - name Ken Lay as the new Federal Reserve Chairman

September Surprise - ask Hamid Karzai for fall fashion advice

October Surprise - further alienate international community by trick-or-treating on embassy row dressed as Jaques Chirac

November Surprise - enter a giant UBL balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

December Surprise - issue hit Christmas release "I saw Putin kissing Santa Claus"